


Snake?!

by CurlyCue



Category: Drake & Josh
Genre: Banter, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Reader is gender neutral, and like., but he doesn't actually make an appearance, i never imply or specify the gender of the reader in this so we're all good, mostly its just uhhhh, there's some implied josh & reader in there too, typical of the show yknow, you/your pronouns for reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 21:51:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18485080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurlyCue/pseuds/CurlyCue
Summary: AU where you stop the snake from ruining the band's performance at the Brew Note.





	Snake?!

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during [S1E5, "First Crush"](https://drakeandjosh.fandom.com/wiki/First_Crush).

Today-- a day like any other-- on the walk home from school, you and Drake had your usual banter.

When Drake mentioned his band was going to try out at the auditions for the up-and-coming Brew Note’s weekly gig, you immediately agreed to come along for the show. At the very least, you could be a source of moral support in the crowd-- not that your immensely talented best friend would need it, with the size of his (admittedly somewhat warranted) ego-- and at best, you might’ve been able to increase the band’s odds of landing the gig, since your social skills were pretty amazing, if you did say so yourself. 

Of course, Drake was appreciative, but he had a reputation to keep, so instead of getting all mushy in public, he teased you, moving to ruffle your hair. “You know, if you wanted a date so badly, you could’ve just asked,” he smirked. He had barely moved his arm before you had it in a vice grip, mirroring his smirk from moments before-- now, his expression had turned to shock, although whether it was at the speed of your reaction or your strength, you weren’t completely sure. Regardless, though, you’d be damned if you were going to let this opportunity go: after all, it wasn’t exactly often that this smug, flirtatious loudmouth was shocked speechless.

“You know, if you wanted your arm twisted so badly, you could’ve just asked,” you quipped back at him, and he backed off, grimacing and dramatically rubbing his wrist. 

“Okay, okay, I get it! Ouch…” 

“Chill, drama queen, I barely even touched you. But if you’re actually hurt, I could probably grab an ice pack from my house or something.”

He just scoffed and dropped the act-- as well as his wrist. “Nah, I’m fine. Besides, it’s not like anything could hurt worse than watching ‘spoons’ play out again.”

You groaned, facepalmed, and sped up, then turned around so you were facing him, walking backwards with your arms crossed behind your head. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. Again? I swear, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think he does it on purpose. Is it really that hard for him to talk to people?”

Drake just shook his head. “Not people in general, just the pretty ones. Josh is--”

“Unusual,” you quoted in unison-- although, unlike him, you rolled your eyes and put up air quotes. “Yeah, you’ve said. As for the other thing, I’m not sure whether to be offended for my sake, or to tease and say he doesn’t seem to have a problem talking to you, prettyboy.”

Immediately, you heard him snort. “Thanks, but I am _not_ a ‘prettyboy,’ and no, he really is just that awkward.”

“Poor guy.” You mused, turning your gaze upwards to observe the sky for a moment. “I’ll give him a talk later, see if I can help him out.”

“Good idea,” he remarked, and you looked back at him to see a dangerously mischievous glint in his eyes. “I was planning something similar. Between the two of us, he’s sure to turn out to be a real ladykiller, right, babe?”

You just rolled your eyes, turning back around and falling back into place beside him before playfully shoving his side. “Don’t call me babe, you dweeb. And sure. I mean... I would say hopefully not literally, but I think we all know he’s got too good of a heart for that.”

 

Later on that evening, you found yourself leaning up against the wall inside a fantastically busy coffee shop, chatting up the owner while you waited for Drake and the band. As it turned out, the owner of the shop was the same man who had attempted to teach Josh karate not too long ago. What a small world! Given the circumstances, you found yourself even more comfortable talking to him than you thought you would be, and the two of you were getting along just fine. In fact, you were just running around doing odd jobs for him when you spotted one of the band members squeeze their way through the front door, and you positively beamed. Spotting you, they all waved, and Drake’s expression changed to one of confusion when he noticed what you were doing. In fact, he looked like he might be about to head your way before another one of his bandmates pulled him back, redirecting him with a stern jerk of her head and a hand on his shoulder. 

You grinned, grabbing the owner’s attention, and he turned; his expression, which had been sharply displeased as he looked down at his clipboard, morphed into one of pleasant surprise. “Yes?”

“The next group to audition is here,” you inform him kindly. “The ones I told you about?”

“Ah, yes!” He exclaims, excitement brightening his face. “Thank you! I’ll go greet them right away.”

And so he did. Soon enough, Drake and the gang were happily taking their places up onstage, and with your keen observational senses, you could see the ease and joy with which your friend took his place in front of the mic, even between running errands around the shop for the owner-- who was so pleased with your assistance so far that he’d just offered to pay you for your help and then hire you to have you around in the long-term. You were truly happy with the way the day was going. 

Of course, that couldn’t last long. Luckily enough for... well, everyone, you supposed… you were helping the table closest to the stage when you spotted it: the snake, slithering sneakily out of Drake’s backpack and slowly making its way toward him. You acted quickly, barely giving yourself time to think, and took quick steps toward the stage, drawing a surprised look and a raised eyebrow from your friend, but other than a slight hesitation in his next note, he didn’t miss a beat, brushing it off when you waved off his concerns. He needed to finish this performance if he wanted to get this gig, and you weren’t about to ruin it for him; truly, you weren’t about to let anything do that, including the chunky little reptile you carefully curled into your hold and scooped back into his bag, making sure to take the bag with you so the snake wouldn’t cause a ruckus, although you did take a moment to wonder why the hell there was a snake in his bag in the first place. 

It didn’t take long. _“Megan!”_ You hissed under your breath, clutching the bag to your chest. You could feel the snake-- what was its name... Robert?-- wriggling around in the bag, and it was uncomfortable to be sure, but you had to ensure that it wouldn’t get loose. 

You let out a sigh and looked away from the little cold-blooded problem-child-- the snake, not its young owner, although it could probably apply to the little girl too-- to take a glance around the establishment, only to catch the owner giving you a strange look (probably wondering what you were doing and why you weren’t working) and your friend, still onstage but nearly done with the song, giving you an even stranger one. 

You heaved another sigh-- a heavier one this time. It was going to be a long day.


End file.
